Complimentary Lyrical Analysis

Having recently listened to a fair quantity of contemporary popular music, I have compiled a few observations, mostly with respect to the lyrics. It is probably best not to subject song lyrics to intense critical analysis, but I just couldn't help myself. 


I’d catch a grenade for ya 
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same.

Earlier works by Bruno Mars indicate he has some legitimate talent, but this is pure melodramatic twaddle. Why doesn't he just take out the trash, wash the dishes, and treat her nice most of the time? That would be far more practical than offering to do these other things. Under what circumstances, for instance, would it be necessary to jump in front of a train for someone? And obviously, the most extreme example involves the grenade. Setting aside the unlikelihood of him or his romantic partner ever encountering a grenade at all, what good would it do to "catch" the thing? The problem remains unsolved, Mr. Mars.


"We're dancing like we're dumb, dumb, du-uh-uh-umb
Our bodies going numb, numb, nu-uh-uh-umb." 


I hope this is meant to be tongue-in-cheek because Kesha isn't merely dancing like she's dumb; she's singing like it too. This is truly a grating song.

I feel like I could write better lyrics without a great deal of preparation. Let's see how it goes:

I got rage, back in the saddle
Are you ready for the battle?
Make your thin walls rattle.
Rampage! Don't get caught in the middle
Trying to solve the little riddle
Because I know your body's brittle. 
Well, I was stuck in idle; it was my life to waste
Now I'm back in the race spitting rhymes in your face
Give me one for the treble, give me two for the bass
Give me two for the bass and I'll tear up the place
Now, how can we get the people to the next page?
What do you got now? I got rage! 

This is easy! Okay, probably not if you have to do it more than once.