God's Friends

There’s a lot of talk about certain men believing they are God’s gift to women, but no man is a gift from God. God’s gift to women is the ability, on average, to outlive men but even this took a long time to develop, what with infant mortality, consumption, spousal abuse, and gross ignorance among medical personnel of female anatomy, hormones, and metabolism up until the 20^th Century. God’s pre-1900 gift to women is not entirely clear. Maybe it just took a long time to pick out. Come to think of it, God probably owes women one of those belated cards: “Sorry it took thousands of years to give you this, but I hope the additional longevity makes up for it.” And it might.  

One tell-tale sign of a pathetic human being involves anyone who’s deliberately and persistently obstinate and disagreeable at work and when questioned about it sneers, “I’m not here to make friends.” You know what that means? This person has no friends.